Willie john mcbride autobiography of a flea

Born I was—but how, when, or where I cannot say; so I must leave the reader to accept the assertion " per se, " and believe it if he will. One thing is equally certain, the fact of my birth is not one atom less veracious than the reality of these memoirs, and if the intelligent student of, these pages wonders how it came to pass that one in my walk—or perhaps, I should have said jump—in life, became possessed of the learning, observation and power of commit-ting to memory the whole of the wonderful facts and disclosures I am about to relate.

I can only remind him that there are intelligences, little suspected by the vulgar, and laws in nature, the very existence of which have not yet been detected by the advanced among the scientific world. I have heard it somewhere remarked that my province was to get my living by blood sucking. I am not the lowest by any means of that universal fraternity, and if I sustain a precarious existence upon the bodies of those with whom I come in contact, my own experience proves that I do so in a marked and peculiar manner, with a warning of my employment which is seldom given by those in other grades of my profession.

But I submit that I have other and nobler aims than the mere sustaining of my being by the contributions of the unwary. I have been conscious of this original defect, and, with a soul far above the vulgar instincts of my race. I jumped by degrees to heights of mental perception and erudition which placed me for ever upon a willie john mcbride autobiography of a flea of insect-grandeur.

It is this attainment to learning which I shall evoke in describing the scenes of which I have been a witness—nay, even a partaker. I shall not stop to explain by what means I am possessed of human powers of thinking and observing, but, in my lucubrations, leave you simply to perceive that I possess them and wonder accordingly. You will thus perceive that I am not common flea; indeed, when it is born in mind the company in which I have been accustomed to mingle, the familiarity with which I have been suffered to treat persons the most exalted, and the opportunities I have possessed to make the most of my acquaintances, the reader will no doubt agree with me that I am in very truth a most wonderful and exalted insect.

My earliest recollections lead me back to a period when I found myself within a church. There was a rolling of rich music and a slow monotonous chanting which then filled me with surprise and admiration, but I have long since learnt the true important of such influences, and the attitudes of the worshippers are now taken by me for the outward semblance of inward emotions which are very generally non-existent.

Be this as it may, I was engaged upon professional business connected with the plump white leg of a young lady of some fourteen years of age, the taste of whose delicious blood I well remember, and the flavour of whose—But I am digressing. Soon after commencing in a quiet and friendly way my little attentions, the young girl in common with the rest of the congregation rose to depart, and I, as a matter of course, determined to accompany her.

I am very sharp of sight as well as of hearing, and that is, how I saw a young gentleman slip a small folded piece of white paper into the young lady's pretty gloved willie john mcbride autobiography of a flea, as she passed through the crowded porch. I had noticed the name Bella neatly worked upon the soft silk stocking which had at first attracted me, and I now saw that the same word appeared alone upon the outside of the billet-doux.

She was with her Aunt, a tall, stately dame, with whom I did not care to get upon terms of intimacy. Bella was a beauty—just fourteen—a perfect figure, and although so young, her soft bosom was already budding into those proportions which delight the other sex. Her face was charming in its frankness; her breath sweet as the perfumes of Arabia, and, as I have always said, her skin as soft as velvet.

Bella was evidently well aware of her good looks, and carried her head as proudly and as coquettishly as a queen. That she inspired admiration was not difficult to see by the wistful and longing glances which the young men, and sometimes also those of the more nature years, cast upon her. There was a general hush of conversation outside the building, and a turning of glances generally towards the pretty Bella, which told more plainly than words that she was the admired one of all eyes and the desired one of all hearts—at any rate among the male sex.

Paying, however very little attention to what was evidently a matter of everyday occurrence, the young lady walked sharply homewards with her Aunt, and after arrival at the neat and genteel residence, went quickly to her room. I will not say I followed, but I " went with her, " and beheld the gentle girl raise one dainty leg across the other and remove the tiniest of tight and elegant kid-boots.

I jumped upon the carpet and proceeded with my examinations. The left boot followed, and without removing her plump calf from off the other, Bella sat looking at the folded piece of paper which I had seen the young fellow deposit secretly in her hand. Closely watching everything. I noted the swelling thighs, which spread upwards above her tightly fitting garters, until they were lost in the darkness, as they closed together at a point where her beautiful belly met them in her stooping position; and almost obliterated a thin and peach-like slit, which just showed its rounded lips between them in the shade.

My curiosity had been aroused, and my desire to know more of the interesting young being with whom chance had so promiscuously brought me in pleasing contact, prompted me to remain quietly ensconced in a snug though somewhat moist hiding place, and it was not until near upon the hour named that I once more emerged in order to watch the progress of events.

Bella had dressed herself with scrupulous care, and now prepared to betake herself to the garden which surrounded the country-house in which she dwelt. Arriving at the end of a long and shady avenue the young girl seated herself upon a rustic bench, and there awaited the coming of the person she was to meet. Software Images icon An illustration of two photographs.

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Father Ambrose, appearing to relent, tells Bella to meet him in the sacristy at two pm the next day and Charlie to meet him at the same time the day after that. Ambrose instructs Bella into a way she may be absolved of her sins and blackmails her into sex with him, lest he tell her guardian what she was up to. Then Ambrose's colleagues, the Fr.

Clement, catch them in the act, and demand equal rights to Bella's favours. And so Bella is introduced to serving the Holy community in a special way. Despite his promises, Fr. Ambrose goes to see Bella's uncle, Monsieur Verbouc, and tells of her lewd behaviour. This leads to her uncle, who has long entertained lustful thoughts of his niece, attempting to force himself on Bella.

The narrator then intervenes, biting him to put a dampener on his ardour. Next, Fr. Clement, looking for Bella's room, climbs into the window of Bella's aunt, the pious Madame Verbouc, who mistakes him for her husband. Monsieur Verbouc then bursts in and his wife realises that she has actually been making love to the randy priest. Bella's friend, Julia Delmont, becomes Fr.

Ambrose's next target. By now completely corrupted and happy to go along with whatever Fr. Ambrose suggests, Bella readily agrees to the Father's next scheme: she will offer herself to Monsieur Delmont, Julia's father, on condition that her face is covered. The trick is that it will not be Bella who lies there, but Delmont's own daughter.

Ambrose seduces Julia and says he will come to her by night and make love to her, but she must hide her face. When the act is consummated, Bella appears and pretends that it was all a big mistake.

Willie john mcbride autobiography of a flea

But since Delmont has now potentially impregnated his daughter, the only way to be sure his incest cannot be discovered is to have all make love to her as well. In case she is pregnant, nobody can claim that her own father is the baby's father. Bella and Julia eventually become nuns, and the book ends as they participate in an orgy with 14 priests.

The Narrator of the story is a flea. The girls look lovely, including of course Annette Haven, in a minor role and we see the infamous John Holmes once again trying to prove Barbara Windsor style that he really is that big. An extraordinary semi consensual scene outside in the countryside where ragged yokel father and son help each other get it on with the pretty heroine.

Top picks Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Details Edit. Release date September 1, United States. United States. Autobiography of a Flea. Tech specs Edit. Runtime 1 hour 32 minutes. Related news. Contribute to this page Suggest an edit or add missing content. Edit page. More to explore.